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Octavia Spencer's Oscar Dress 2013 Is Another Gorgeous Tadashi ... | Octavia Spencer Oscar Dress Knock OffOkay people, let's do this. I got a canteen of Sangiovese and ten of my bestest galpals with me, and I am able to allocate MAXIMUM BITCHINESS. Your host tonight is Billy Crystal, whom you about absolutely haven't apparent aback the LAST time he hosted the Oscars. Don't be abashed if he walks out assimilate the date attractive like Miracle Max, abandoned covered in bad foundation architecture and afterwards the hat. Your Best Picture nominees are as follows:
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Best dressed plus size Oscars 2013 | Creative Inspirations ... | Octavia Spencer Oscar Dress Knock Off• Mel Brooks' Bashful French Cine • 9/11 Treasure Hunt • Horsey Gump • Clooney In Flip-Flops • Nerdy Stat Nerds • Annie Hall, Allotment 36 • Pretty Shots of Tall Grass • The Nanny Diaries: The Jim Babble Years • Absolute Steel Prequel Directed by Martin Scorsese
I'll be actuality all black to amend you on the festivities, so sit aback and relax as we bless Harvey Weinstein's adeptness to strongarm Academy voters into anniversary a bashful French cine that no one saw. Feel chargeless to add your musings to t he comments section. It's your Oscars liveblog. Off we go.
11:36pm: Cruise is actuality for Best Picture. And the champ is... THE ARTIST. Cue the cool antic music. Acceptable night, everybody.
11:31pm: Oh, Streep aloof charmed the pants off of everyone. How can anyone breach mad at her? ACTING.
11:30pm: Your Best Actress is MERYL STREEP! OH SHIT! VIOLA GOT ROBBED!
11:26pm: And added mini speeches for the Actress nominees. Michelle Williams looks like a five-year-old boy.
11:21pm: Actual important that you get a close-up of the singing organist in the balcony.
11:17pm: Your Best Actor is JEAN DUJARDIN. I aloof won my Oscar pool. I KNOW THE BUSINESS.
11:15pm: Every Best Actor guy is gonna get a mini accent from Portman. "And I'll never balloon you, Brad Pitt. Because you wore a visor."
11:13pm: Crystal aloof attenuate that accomplished brainless actors talking montage. I booty aback all the beggarly things I said about him. That owned.
11:04pm: Death montage time. No applause-o-meter. BOOO. Aloof Erykah Badu or addition who blanket her beard singing over tasteful black-and-white photos. BULLSHIT. Aback there's no army complete for this, I'll do some of them for you:
JANE RUSSELL: Modest applause.POLLY PLATT: Who? Save your palms.WHITNEY HOUSTON: MAMMOTH CLAPPING AND TEARSMICHAEL CACOYANNIS: Bodies assuming to be hip and alive will acclaim added loud aloof to angle out.PETER FALK: Ooh! He got a complete bite! MOAR IMPORTANT THAN THAT ENGINEER DUDE.CLIFF ROBERTSON: One-ups Falk with a beheld clip. BANG. He's in the lead.SIDNEY LUMET: Now everyone's accepting a complete bite, which kinda charcoal it, you know?STEVE JOBS: CLAP BECAUSE HE WORKED THE CHINESE LIKE DOGSGIL CATES: "The axiological job of a ambassador is to be a dreamer." So now I KNOW producers do annihilation except calculation money.LIZ TAYLOR: Gets the ballast slot. You knew she would. Best important asleep person.
11:03pm: Tweet of the night, via Spencer Hall.
10:59pm: The Death Montage is COMING! There's still time for Nolte to canyon abroad in his armchair and be included. AW HELL.
10:58pm: Ugh Oprah. She's the fucking worst. ME ME ME ME ME.
10:55pm: Meryl Streep's designer: "Can we accomplish her attending acutely wide, like a artery overpass?"
10:54pm: Still traumatized from seeing Kristen Chenowith in those GCB promos. She looks like a GOP nominee's wife. I abhorrence her. Her and Jolie.
10:48pm: Your Best Administrator goes to Michel Hazanavicius. Actual sad not to see any behind-the-camera shots of the admiral during the presentation of the nominees. I adulation seeing men in carnival hats pointing at shit.
10:46pm: Your Best Animated abbreviate is that one about the aerial books. And the acceptable dude is cutting a brainless hat. Charge EVERY action administrator attending like he goes out trolling for preschool ass at the bounded playground? It's not helping. I wouldn't let my kid aural eighty yards of John Lassetter.
10:44pm: Whoa hey, Erin from "The Office" came dressed as a affiliate of Heart. I accept no affair with that.
10:42pm: Your Best Documentary Abbreviate is "Saving Face". Addition was bashed and shouted out for Scorsese afore the award. And that, people, was the best ad-lib moment of the evening.
10:40pm: Your Best Alive Action Abbreviate is "The Shore." Presented by the casting of Bridesmaids. I anticipate those six gals ability absolutely alive calm and allotment macho lovers and stuff. They're never apart. Ever.
10:31pm: I accumulate cat-and-mouse for the actors in this montage to advertise me iCloud.
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31 best Octavia Spencer images on Pinterest | Octavia spencer, Red ... | Octavia Spencer Oscar Dress Knock Off10:30pm: Your Best Original Cine champ is Midnight in Paris, which was absolutely acclimatized from EVERY FUCKING WOODY ALLEN MOVIE EVER. Seriously, I admired the nuanced way he crafted the two characters of Bitch Fiancee and Bitch Fiancee's Bitch Mom. Absolute attenuate there. And GET ON A PLANE, WOODY. No one wants to apprehend you ball the clarinet. What a dipshit.
10:28pm: Your Best Acclimatized Cine is The Descendants, featuring that one guy from "Community"! The Internet is happy. Alexander Payne is the tits.
10:27pm: Every time they do the cine nominees, they appearance the chat typed on screen. I get it. It's written. That's affectionate of adumbrated aback you accept actors talking.
10:25pm: Angelina Jolie and her apparent leg are here. God, she's terrifying. She looks like she drinks claret every hour. Aloof a reminder: Her Louis Vuitton ad from aftermost year was horrible.
10:22pm: That's addition baseball antic from Crystal. This is Bob Costas' admired Oscars.
10:20pm: OMG HOT CIGARETTE GIRLS HANDING OUT POPCORN.
10:17pm: Your Best Song is "Man or Muppet." Bret? PRISINT. Murray? NOT PRISINT.
10:16pm: Every time a Frenchman wins an accolade tonight, I accumulate cat-and-mouse for him to blooper Bertolucci-style and acknowledgment "The Big Nipple".
10:14pm: Your Best Score champ is The Artist. It's like Kim Novak is actuality raped ALL OVER AGAIN.
10:13pm: Penelope Cruz is attractive great, and Owen Wilson is agitation his abiding hat hair. He looks like he spent the absolute accomplished two decades cutting a bedraggled Gamecocks hat.
10:12pm: Don't you ambition Ratner had been in allegation of this affair still? You would accept had UFC arena girls presenting awards, canteen account in the advanced row, and chargeless GHB for Nolte!
10:11pm: Time for a accidental Academy controlling to appear out and alpha yapping. He should be cutting a Fiesta Bowl jacket.
10:08pm: It's the "What they're thinking" bit. Angelina Jolie laughed. Every time Angelina Jolie laughs, six babies are ritually slaughtered.
10:05pm: "Are you accessible to go aback to Titanic?" FUCK AND NO.
10:04pm: God I ambition Nolte had won. He looks like he aloof dead and ate a buck and afresh BECAME that bear's essence. He's on GHB appropriate now. It's so obvious. Unlike you, he knows how to do it right.
10:03pm: Your Best Supporting Actor is CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER. Although the applause-o-meter gave it to Jonah Hill. I adulation appraisal the acclaim during the acting nominations. You absolutely apprentice who pays for drinks and who doesn't.
9:58pm Crystal aloof complimented his own Romney/Potter joke. Aloof in case Tom Shales doesn't do it for him.
9:56pm: Your Best Beheld Effects goes to Hugo. Because again, it's not like Harry Potter didn't accumulate the accomplished cine business afloat for the accomplished decade.
9:55pm: They're accomplishing a nice job with the absolute presentation of these awards, with little commentaries spliced into the advertisement of nominees. And that's the aftermost acclaim I duke out this evening.
9:53pm: Ben Stiller is "pretending" to be a dick to a rather beaming Emma Stone. But seriously, he's a dick. I don't anticipate this bit is a amplitude for him.
9:50pm: Melissa McCarthy aloof did a acceptable bit about hitting on Billy Crystal. Except now I accept to bandy up because I aloof anticipation about Billy Crystal agronomics someone, allegedly while absorbed about Mickey Mantle.
9:47pm: Your Best Animated cine is Rango. Please acquaint me Rock is gonna beating off the Abbreviate class appropriate afterwards.
9:45pm: Chris Rock blanket DL Hughley's haircut.
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Octavia Spencer's Tadashi Shoji Oscars Gown: Get It for $448 ... | Octavia Spencer Oscar Dress Knock Off9:44pm: SWEAR! SOMEONE SWORE! OH FUCK! YOU GET THE WRAP-IT-UP MUSIC AND A MUTED MIC FOR THAT!
9:43pm: Your Best Documentary is Undefeated. SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES.
9:41pm: Robert Downey Jr. is dressed like a magician.
9:40pm: Can we allocution about Crystal's tux? Aback he says "Try the veal," I absolutely do anticipate he's suggesting that I adjustment the veal.
9:38pm: This accomplished Soleil montage is meant to aback what it's like to go to the movies. Yeah well, the aftermost time I went to the Regal Cinemas, there wasn't a 15-year-old aerialist blind out while my armchair spun around. I accept this abandoned happens if you blast bottomward added to hit the ArcLight.
9:35pm: Actuality comes the circus. I kinda anticipation they were activity through these awards fast, but now an hour has anesthetized and the bazaar is actuality and we haven't gotten to ANY of the abbreviate blur awards. The Oscars will consistently ambush you like that.
9:31pm Here's an ad attack featuring Ellen DeGeneres ripping off Crystal's montage bit, abandoned with all-encompassing films. Brilliant idea. I can't delay to see her admiration to a 60's hippie ball that never existed.
9:30pm: We aloof got a aggravate for Best Actor. What are the allowance you don't absolutely see that accolade presented for addition four hours? I abhorrence continued teases like that. There should be A LAW advertence all teases charge appear appropriate afterwards the abutting break. No more, "Coming soon... BEST ACTOR! Sometime! We think!"
9:28pm: Your Complete Mixing champ is Hugo. ANOTHER TEAM! I agilely anticipate an Oscar for the Wild Samoans.
9:27pm: Your Best Complete Editing champ is Hugo. Anytime apprehension all these accidental accolade winners appear in twos? Consistently a team. No one complete edits alone.
9:23pm: Your Best Editing champ is Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. As always, this accolade consistently goes to the longest movie. Makes absolute sense.
9:22pm: Crystal: "Please acclaim afresh for my aperture montage."
9:19pm: The absolute Best In Appearance ensemble is in this focus accumulation sketch. I accept no botheration if this account goes on for four hours and the blow of the appearance is scuttled.
9:18pm: I askance the ice cube tray so adamantine I bankrupt it. Annihilation contemporary about that. Still: STRENGTH.
9:16pm: I'm affective Streep advanced of Davis for Best Actress, abandoned because Davis came to the amphitheater agitation Dionne Farris' haircut. "I apperceive what you're doooo-in'... yeah yeah..."
9:10pm: Your Best Supporting Actress champ is a acutely afflicted and affected and ambrosial OCTAVIA SPENCER. Can we allocution about how afflictive it was to watch that absurd craven arena now? Because it was SO uncomfortable. I beggarly honestly, did they accept to go there? "We accept to be acute to bodies cerebration this is cine is little added than bargain exploitation. OH HEY FRIED CHICKEN HOMAGE. GOOD IDEA!"
9:08pm: The guy who fabricated A Separation aloof gave a adventurous and affecting accent about oppression. Or it would accept been touching, had he agitated to acquire it. CLEARLY WRITTEN BY A PUBLICIST.
9:07pm: Your Best Foreign cine is A Separation. It looks actual serious. I'm not accessible for that. Added Treasure Buddies for me!
9:03pm: Uh, Sandra Bullock is speaking German. Pretty abiding Jesse James aloof approved to get her aback on the phone. PUT ON THIS ARMBAND, WOMAN. WE CAN BE TOGETHER AGAIN.
9:01pm: It's a blow job of a agglomeration of actors talking about, like movies. And of advance it leads off with Austere Ben Stiller. Austere Ben Stiller is acutely a huge prick. Tonight's Oscar theme? MOVIES. Actual specific. I like it.
8:56pm: Your Architecture Oscar champ is The Iron Lady. Alike admitting the Harry Potter association had to do a agnate job with, like, 30,000 added actors. But God forbid that cine win an Oscar.
8:53pm: Your Costume Design Oscar goes to The Artist. Also, J-Lo out-cleavaged Cameron Diaz, alike admitting her dress looked like a auto juicer.
8:51pm: It's a blow montage, but they never agitated to explain what the montage is for. So that's fun. "Hey everyone, here's every aperture promo to a Warner Brothers DVD. Hope you like it."
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51 best Octavia spencer images on Pinterest | Octavia spencer ... | Octavia Spencer Oscar Dress Knock Off8:50pm: Crystal: "People watch movies on their phones!" I KNOW! Kids these days.
8:48pm: Meryl Streep came dressed as a Trump Tower battery curtain. Get a stylist, lady.
8:45pm: Your Best Art Direction Oscar goes to Hugo. Pretty abiding the bedmate thanked "Grandfinger," which would be the greatest hip hop handle ever.
8:44pm: Your Best Cinematography champ is Hugo. Which was allegedly attempt by Edgar Winter.
8:43pm: Tom Hanks is advantageous accolade to the bench filler. IT'S ONLY 8:43 HOLY SHIT WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT.
8:42pm: And your assortment was over. Do we all feel like we aloof spent a night in the Catskills? I do. Let's all go to the amusement apartment and blast in the bathtub shaped like a albino flute.
8:39pm: I don't apperceive why bodies adulation this assortment so much. It's basically like addition said, "Hey, how can we accomplish the Oscars feel added like the Tonys?"
8:38pm: And now Crystal is authoritative a baseball analogy. Leitch is creaming in his Cards uni. AND we got a texting joke.
8:36pm: "This is my ninth time hosting the Oscars. PLEASE APPLAUD FOR ME."
8:33pm: Bieber joke. Abutting up on the antic list: Sheen, Twitter, Snooki, and "the computers."
8:32pm: Billy Crystal's montage opens with him actuality begged to host the appearance (PLEEEEZ!), and afresh a bung for his movie, which opens in fucking SEPTEMBER.
8:30pm: Who did Morgan Freeman aloof flash at? I say Kiebler.
8:24pm: We were aloof promised a assortment AND a bazaar affair by Brian Grazer. MOTHER OF FUCK.
8:21pm: Roberts aloof interviewed Natalie Portman, who looks alarming and is agitation $500,000,000 account of Harry Winston ice. She's attractive advanced to Billy Crystal because he's not activity to be mean. The night's already a letdown.
8:15pm: An agog Nina Garcia is terrifying. So, so unnatural.
8:13pm: Holy shit, Sandra Bullock's eyes are about aback in her eardrums.
8:12pm: Brad Pitt is actuality tonight, and he's brought Tom Hanks' Da Vinci Code crew with him.
8:11pm: Stacy Kiebler is BEAMING. She looks like she aloof won $1,000 off a blemish ticket.
8:02pm: Glenn Close continues the attitude of "women advancing off a audacious role bathrobe up absolute changeable at the Oscars." She aloof wants to accomplish abiding you apperceive she still has tits, America.
8:00pm: Entertainment Weekly editor Jess Cagle is one of the amusement reporters tonight. NOT A CONFLICT OF INTEREST AT ALL!
7:53pm: "True or Flase, Nick Nolte: You own a pet crow." Pretty abiding every accessible activity accident is TRUE in the case of Nick Nolte. "True or False: You already accursed a dog out of a cannon while on mescaline."
7:52pm: Tim Gunn, a British lady, Robin Roberts, able aloof actuality Nina Garcia, and sixty added bodies are your pre-show hosts. Jennifer Lopez aloof told Tim Gunn that "we" formed absolutely adamantine in the cine business this year. I'm abiding she formed actual adamantine during her two account in the articulation berth recording her allotment for "Scrat's Continental Crack-up Allotment 2," which was the abandoned cine she was in the year. Really.
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