The Newnan Times-Herald
I never got the adhere of Halloween.
I accusation it on my hometown.
I was built-in in New Orleans and lived there until center through the sixth grade. I can’t anamnesis anytime bottomward on a Halloween apparel in the Big Easy. In New Orleans, apparel were aloof for Mardi Gras.
My mother went all in for Mardi Gras. One year she spent hours bed-making my Uncle Sam outfit. A brace of years later, I was a clown.
Back then, clowns were still advised asinine instead of scary. I outgrew the outfit, but not the behavior that aggressive it.
My ancestors dressed up and abounding added Mardi Gras parades than I can count. I admired every one.
Then we confused to a boondocks that didn’t bless Mardi Gras. Kids dressed up for Halloween. And not actual well. Some of my buddies adopted bedding and went as ghosts. Straw hats and overalls anesthetized as bother suits. No Uncle Sams. No clowns. Not a Superman clothing in sight. I didn’t like it and didn’t do it.
I didn’t dress up for Halloween afresh until I was a green in college. A babe I was absorbed in had some accompany who were throwing a Halloween party. She asked me to go. I said yes. Apparel were required.
My date ashore a annual in her beard and went as a hippie. I adopted an STP hat from a roommate, drew a cardinal 43 on a while bodice and went as NASCAR fable Richard Petty.
When I best her up, my date asked who I was. I acicular to the STP hat and the cardinal 43 and said, “Richard Petty. The King.” She said, “King of what? Rednecks?” I could absolutely apprehend her adenoids axis up.
The affair was fine. People were dressed as cowboys, Indians, abdomen dancers and TV characters. The guy dressed as Lurch from “The Addams Family” got lots of attention. Especially from my date. About an hour into the affair she said she wasn’t activity able-bodied and capital to go home.
I doubtable she had abiding a backward night affair with Lurch. By then, that was OK with me.
We absolved out and hopped into the aboriginal car I anytime owned, a 10-year-old 1957 Karmann Ghia. A Karmann Ghia is basically a Volkswagon Bug in drag, but I didn’t care. I accursed it up and took off. Minutes after the agent started to ahem and wheeze.
My Karmann Ghia was sporty, but lacked some basal automotive amenities – including a ammunition gauge. Instead, it had a assets ammunition tank. The abstraction was to drive until the capital catchbasin was empty, bandy a chiral about-face to accessible the assets catchbasin and arch for the abutting bushing station.
When the car started to sputter I accomplished for the assets catchbasin switch. It was already open. I’d austere through the capital catchbasin and assets tank. Both were cartilage dry. We were stranded. The hippie wasn’t happy. We started hitchhiking.
A nice guy in a auto barter rescued us. He took the babe aback to the party. She alleged me a also-ran and went in chase of Lurch.
The guy offered to get a can of gas and get my car running, but I told him my attached would advice me with that the abutting day.
“Well, area do you appetite to go?” he said. I anticipation it over for a few abnormal and said, “Just acquisition a agglomeration of rednecks about and let me out. I’ll be aloof fine.”
Alex McRae is the columnist of “There Ain’t No Gentle Cycle on the Washing Machine of Love.” He can be accomplished at: alexmmcrae@gmail.com
