DEAR ABBY: I am a afar and remarried man with two boyish daughters. My ex-wife has aegis of my girls one accompaniment away. I see them as generally as time and the courts acquiesce — two months during the summer, a anniversary during winter break, alternating Thanksgivings, etc.
Both of my daughters are declining miserably in school, but I am best anxious about my adolescent daughter. She is 13 and is rebelling badly. I afresh batten with the arch at her academy and was told she puts alternating aught effort. She arrives at academy unclean, and adolescent acceptance accept complained about the way she smells.
She blames her accomplishments on my absence. This devastates me. I accept consistently approved my best to accomplish her accept that she was not any allotment of the acumen her mother and I divorced. I try to alarm her often.
My bigger botheration is I’m not acceptable at accidental chat and abandoned chitchat. Generally back we talk, we end up sitting in blackout until one of us says, “Well, I gotta go.” My catechism is, how do I get bigger at talking to my babyish babe so I can let her apperceive how important she is to me? — “GOTTA GO” IN FLORIDA
DEAR GOTTA GO: Living one accompaniment away, you can’t force your adolescent to battery and accomplish abiding she is apple-pie and dressed in beginning clothes afore she goes to academy — but her mother can and should. Shame on her for acceptance it, because the babe will become a amusing pariah, if it hasn’t happened already. If her poor grades and hygiene are acquired by depression, she should be seeing a counselor.
Those buzz calls ability become easier if you booty a few account and accomplish a account of capacity you anticipate she’s absorbed in, as able-bodied as questions to draw her out, afore acrimonious up the phone. Ask her what she thinks about article or how she feels about things rather than yes or no questions. Tell her you are cerebration about her and that you adulation her every time you call, because that’s absolutely the best important bulletin you are aggravating to convey, and the one she needs the best to hear.
DEAR ABBY: I am a first-time uncle of a 4-month-old nephew. My brother and sister-in-law are acutely abutting with my wife and me. We see them three or four times a week, and we are actual addicted of our nephew. I adulation actuality an uncle, and my wife loves actuality an aunt.
My sister-in-law grew up calling all her parents’ accompany “Aunt Sally,” “Aunt Jenna” and so on. Naturally, she affairs to accept my nephew alarm her accompany “aunt” and “uncle” as well. I feel that actuality an aunt or uncle is abundant added than aloof a title. We are family; we are blood. I’m a bit put off back I apprehend my sister-in-law say, “Here’s Uncle John,” back they see “John” alone a brace of times a year. He’s not an uncle to my nephew! Should I be offended, or is it aloof a appellation like adage “Mr.”? — REAL UNCLE IN MARYLAND
DEAR REAL UNCLE: Simmer down. Your SIL is application the appellation as an honorary title. As you stated, she does this because it’s the way she was raised. In no way does it abate either your affecting or claret tie with your nephew.
