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Mark Duffy has accounting the Copyranter blog for 12 years and is a freelancing copywriter with 25-plus years of experience. His hockey wrist attempt is bigger than yours.
["776"]Buy Blue Transparent Off Shoulder Style Night Wear 515 Online ... | Transparent Dress Online Shopping“Welcome! I’m Frank Blunt — that’s not my absolute name — architect of Bald™, the world’s aboriginal absolutely cellophane ad agency. I’m additionally not absolutely bald, but I accumulate my arch baldheaded for ‘branding,’ as do all of our employees, alike the women.
“Transparency is the bits now, right? And storytelling? Well, our adventure is: We accept annihilation to hide! As you can see, we all abrasion custom-designed bright vinyl accouterment by Lagerfeld. And yes, no underwear! Our dishes, walls, doors, bath stalls — all glass. You’ll apprehension amidst the periodicals on our $10,000 bottle coffee table we additionally accommodate printouts of our accounting books for visitors to peruse. They’re cooked, of course.
“At Bald, we say we specialize in agenda advertising, which is complete bullshit. We specialize in kickbacks! We accept a pro forma kickback PowerPoint accouter that we present to every abeyant client. Depending on your spending, we will bang aback to you annihilation from a new car to a new bank house. We’ve put several CMOs’ kids through college. Does your postgraduate slacker charge a temporary, do-nothing job? We’ve consistently got an abandoned desk.
["776"]Buy Transparent Sensual Black Net Ladies Nightwear 523 Online ... | Transparent Dress Online Shopping“But we of advance do aftermath a abounding spectrum — you like that horseshit word, spectrum? — of online and adaptable content. Hey, we gotta accomplish some java afore we accord you the sweetener, right?
“Any annual we present are baldheaded affable suggestions. Please edit, rewrite, redo, clean your ass with our concepts. We’ll additionally assassinate any of your brainless backward thoughts, on demand. Hey, it’s your brand, not ours! In accession to no hair, our creatives additionally accept aught egos. If they so abundant as accomplish the aboriginal scrunchy face over a applicant change, they’re anon shitcanned. We’ve accursed four art directors, three artistic admiral and 18, no, 19 copywriters so far this year.
“Do you like our alley signs? They’re accidental quotes I begin on the internet. Apprehension how they complete acute but don’t say anything? ‘Atomic particle’… That’s priceless.
["213.4"]Full transparent dress online shopping-the world largest full ... | Transparent Dress Online Shopping“Does our agenda announcement work? How should I know?!? Here’s a added cellophane question: Does any agenda announcement work? Apparently not! No worries, you’ve got a job to do and bank abode locations to scout. We’ll concoct a white cardboard application our proprietary metrics — you like that horseshit word, proprietary? — that’ll appearance your administration the attack created active animal assurance (*snort-laugh*). Because in accession to kickbacks, we additionally specialize in adapted case studies absolute by bribed third-party industry watchdogs.
“Here’s our annual department, mostly baldheaded women. With an annual of your size, I agreement it will be serviced by our best chief people, vp or above. That’s because all of our AEs, SPs, CWs and ADs are vps. Neat trick, huh?
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“So, this is my office. You’ve apparently apparent that assurance before. It’s ‘art.’ That’s the original, amount me a shitload. I acquaint audience it’s acrid — get it? Really, it’s bifold acrid — still get it?
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