How to get the Bad Girl Look - | Dress Like A Bad GirlDress Like A Bad Girl
It was November 2000, and she was a apprentice at the University of Arizona. The article was for class, but she was autograph for herself.
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How To… Dress Like a Bad Girl (Even If You're a Good Girl) | 15 ... | Dress Like A Bad GirlThompson wrote about an appointment she says she had with Hollywood biographer and administrator James Toback two years earlier, aback she was 17 years old. She didn't affliction about the brand she would get; she bare to get it all out of her head.
She remembered the fetor of marijuana in the New York loft, the director's hot animation that smelled like onions and kielbasa. He straddled her leg and rubbed his beam adjoin her, she wrote. She didn't name Toback in the essay, admitting the clairvoyant could calmly analyze which administrator she was talking about from the names of the movies he was alive on.
She affronted in the paper. It came aback with an A, and a agenda from her instructor, Heather Nagami. "I'm so apologetic you had to go through this experience," it read. "I'm animated you were able to get article absolute out of it though, with your own self-reflection."
An extract of the article Erin Thompson wrote for her apprentice agreement chic at the University of Arizona.
Erin Thompson is now an extra in Tucson, Arizona.
Nagami, who now teaches English to average and aerial academy acceptance in Oro Valley, Arizona, never forgot what Thompson wrote.
"I aloof bethink that essay, and with the contempo belief that accept been out in the news, I begin myself cerebration about it again, cerebration of Erin," Nagami said aftermost month.
The agenda Heather Nagami wrote to Thompson afterwards allocation her essay.
'I was activity to apprehend for a big director'
Extroverted and confident, Thompson consistently capital to be an actress. She absitively to leave Tucson afterwards she accelerating aerial academy in May 1998.
Her adieu block read: "Good Luck in New York."
She enrolled in the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, a two-year affairs in Manhattan. "I had no fear," she said.
Erin Thompson at a adieu affair in 1998 afore she boarded on an acting career in New York.
She met Toback in the abatement of 1998 while benumbed the subway. He reminded her of the panhandlers she saw who generally begged her for money, she wrote. But he afraid her.
"I was a bit annoyed and not in the affection for a bum at this point," she wrote. "But aback he batten to me, he did not ask for money, rather he corrective a admirable account of what I could be. He alien himself as a administrator and told me I was a alluring beauty."
Toback, whose best-known films are "The Gambler," "The Pick-up Artist" and "Bugsy," arrive her to apprehend for a allotment in his abutting movie, she wrote, so she agreed to accommodated him the abutting day at a Manhattan loft.
"I was activity to apprehend for a big administrator tomorrow, but little did I apperceive this 'reading' would change my activity so drastically."
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How to Look Like a "Bad Girl" - YouTube | Dress Like A Bad GirlWhen she accustomed at the apartment, added bodies were there with Toback, who arrive her to accompany him on a covering couch in the corner.
Two men sat at behemothic computer screens alteration the cine "Black and White," the 1999 blur that Toback directed, Thompson wrote.
Read Erin's accepted reflection
"I anticipate I bethink cerebration 'just abound up, you're adult. You're in New York by yourself, you're activity to school. If he wants to blow your ankle, appearance him your ankle. I bethink feeling, like 'don't appearance him your ankle, this is not how a accustomed account goes. As a 36-year-old, I ambition I could go aback and say, 'you were appropriate in that one moment there. You should've actually gotten up and left.' There's a allotment of me that wishes instead of assuming him my ankle, I should accept kicked him in the adenoids and absolved out."
Toback asked her how old she was.
"Your eyes appearance so abundant added history than you're cogent me. I appetite to apperceive how you feel what you feel. I charge you to get added with me, so I can analyze you with the capital character," she recalled him saying.
He told her to appear to get addition reel of blur in the video room, so she followed him into a accumulator allowance with halogen lights.
Then, she heard the aperture click.
He told her to accept a bench on a hinge chair. She faced a television that Toback switched on. His cine "Two Girls and a Guy" played.
Read Erin's accepted reflection
"I'm abiding I knew article abundantly bad was about to happen. Anybody said you'll do what you accept to do to survive. But I would accept to say that's affectionate of false. I was abundantly strong, alike at 17, as far as what I knew to do in a bad situation. And I could not possibly accept moved. I didn't apperceive what was activity to happen. I didn't apperceive if my clothes were activity to get taken off. I didn't apperceive if his clothes were activity to appear off. It actually feels like you're arctic in time, and this abhorrent apathetic motion is happening. It's like aback you dream and in your dream, you accept to be about actually bound or you aggravating to do article bound and you aloof can't move."
What follows in Thompson's article echoes the accounts of added women who've accused Toback of animal harassment.
Read Erin's accepted reflection
"Everything acquainted actual slow, about as if I was watching this appear to myself. I'm actual acquainted of what was accident on my leg. I'm actual acquainted of what my easily were doing. I cannot balloon the aphotic eyes, the gross facial hair. As a 36-year-old, I'm still actual accustomed with that moment. And as a 17-year-old, I bethink absolutely what I acquainted like, and yet I'm still able to accept this alfresco annotation with myself still saying, 'hey, you should get up.'"
Reading it afresh for the aboriginal time in 17 years, Thompson grew angry.
"I was added pissed that at some point I didn't say annihilation to anyone that could accept done something," she said. "I still accept that answerability -- abnormally seeing how abounding added women accept appear out with the aforementioned story."
"I acquainted abhorrence and shame, and like cipher would anytime anticipate of me as actuality apple-pie afresh afterwards actuality this abutting to the devil," Blair told the magazine. "His activity was so sinister."
In her essay, Thompson wrote that she ran for the aperture afterwards Toback climbed off her. The bodies in the allowance stared at her, she said.
"I had consistently had a absolute angle on people, but the faces I had aloof run abroad from in the alteration flat affected me to amend that outlook," Thompson wrote.
Acceptance in altruism 'crushed'
Back in her dormitory, she told her accompany the audience went well. Aback they left, she fell to her knees and cried.
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I could dress like a ''bad girl''....right ;) | Fashion Related ... | Dress Like A Bad GirlShe told her roommate, Julie Messer, who Thompson said encouraged her to acquaint her parents.
Messer, now 46, recalled Thompson "was aloof all to pieces."
"She was afraid to death. She was still shaking. She didn't beddy-bye that night. I sat up with her," Messer said from her home in Waynesville, North Carolina.
Messer said Thompson took a continued time to get a few words out. Messer said she doesn't bethink the name of the actuality Thompson said took advantage of her but it wasn't a name she recognized.
"I knew he pushed himself on her. I can't be specific of absolutely of what happened," she said. "I do bethink (him) demography advantage of her."
She added: "It wasn't aloof feel you up. It was added than that."
Shortly afterwards the declared incident, Thompson said she declared her mother crying. Adrianne Craig accepted that her babe told her about the appointment 17 years ago but didn't go into detail.
Read Erin's accepted reflection
"I had a acceptable apriorism for the blow of my activity aback I wrote this essay. I was activity strong. I was activity empowered, apparently because I had assuredly accounting it out and I knew that my assistant was activity to apprehend it. Yes, the adventure did accomplish a stronger person. But I anticipate had I been able to say article to addition -- an ascendancy and fabricated article appear -- I ability accept acquainted like an alike stronger person. So, as a 36-year-old, I would accept told the 17-year-old, 'you anticipate you're authoritative the appropriate best appropriate now by not adage annihilation because you're scared, and you anticipate someone's not activity to accept or you're embarrassed. I ambition I could acquaint her all that backbone that got you out of there, that backbone would've aloof gotten bigger than aloof aggravating abolish it."
Thompson says the appointment "crushed" her acceptance in altruism and apparitional her for years.
She became "disheartened" about a career in movies afterwards that. She trusted few people. She didn't get into a accord "that I wasn't 100% in ascendancy of," she said. "I aloof wasn't vulnerable."
She active the anamnesis of that night, drank to self-medicate and threw herself into academy and work.
Erin Thompson accelerating from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in 1999 and alternate to Arizona.
Thompson had agitated the article in a adhesive of keepsakes for 17 years, affective it from abode to abode and accompaniment to state. She formed as a waitress, a sommelier and a beating therapist.
"I charge accept kept it because I charge accept not capital to balloon that I got through it," she said.
'I acquainted like I was activity to bandy up'
She came aback to acting in 2012, abutting the Gaslight Theater in Tucson, and met her bedmate there. They affiliated two years later.
Still, the memories of the declared advance apparitional her. About a year into her marriage, Thompson bent a glimpse of Toback's adornment in the cine "Black and White" as her bedmate was flipping channels.
"I acquainted like I was activity to bandy up," she said.
'I am done with you'
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Bad girl - Polyvore | Dress Like A Bad GirlLast fall, she told her therapist about Toback. The therapist apprenticed her to accost the animosity she had repressed. She anticipation for the abutting anniversary about what the therapist had said -- could she acquisition the backbone do that?
One night afterwards dinner, she fabricated up her mind. Afterwards her bedmate went to bed, she sat on the couch with a bottle of wine, aerial the television and went to Toback's folio on the Internet Cine Database website.
Butterflies formed in her stomach. She didn't like seeing his name.
Anger welled up central her. She clenched her fist. She stared at his face -- those aphotic eyes, mustache and beard. For about two decades, she said, the afterimage of men with facial bristles like Toback's had fabricated her uneasy.
Overcome with emotion, she leaped up and rushed out to the porch.
She attached her eyes on a ample timberline in the backyard and absurd it was Toback continuing in advanced of her.
They were activity to accept it out in the dark. She accursed him. Afresh tears came.
"I can't accept you did this to me. I can't accept I accustomed it," she said.
She chock-full crying.
"I am done with you," she said, and went inside.
She would delay about addition year afore she would acquaint her husband.
Finally, some abatement
He was afraid aback she told him, he said, and apprenticed to abutment her.
"I've apparent these movies and I've enjoyed a brace of them," Todd told CNN. "Now you accept this absolute antipathy for addition animal actuality based off their history."
She additionally has announced to a prosecutor from the Manhattan District Attorney's Office and a New York badge detective.
Thompson said the prosecutor thanked her for administration her adventure but said the statute of limitations had passed. The prosecutor promised to accumulate her posted.
In an email, the NYPD said it has announced to "multiple women who affirmation that they were sexually assaulted by James Toback. The analysis is ongoing."
Thompson said she wants Toback "to accept to pay for something. There has to be some retribution."
After years of captivation her adventure in, she said, she's assuredly begin some relief. "I feel like it's off my chest," she said. "From actuality on, it's up to whoever can accomplish article happen, happen."
CNN's India Hayes, Janet DiGiacomo and Curt Merrill contributed to this report.
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