[!] Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

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Featured Dresses, Season 9 Part 3 | Say Yes to the Dress | TLC | Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

The Absolute Housewives of Dallas“Hollman Holiday”May 30, 2016

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So Stephanie’s husband, Whosit’s altogether is advancing up, and she is tasked with planning a affair for him. Because the “story” with these two is that he’s a ascendancy aberration who second-guesses aggregate she does, the big catechism of the adventure is, “Will Whathisjunk acquiesce Stephanie to plan his altogether affair after second-guessing aggregate she does?” And the acknowledgment is, “YAWN.” If your better botheration in this activity is that your bedmate looks over your accept while you accomplish arrange for his abundant altogether party, afresh you don’t accept absolute problems. Also, aloof acquaint him to plan his own abuse party. Problem: solved.

Also adulatory a birthday, Cary and Dr. Husband’s daughter, Zuri, who is axis three. Cary orders Zuri a white altogether cake, Dr. Bedmate orders Zuri waaaaay too abounding presents. Back he tries to accord Zuri all of her 879 presents, his babe announces that she doesn’t appetite them. Oh, affluent bodies and your nauseatingly apparent consumption, you’re so absurd gross!

Elsewhere, LeeAnne meets Officer Boyfriend for lunch to altercate her accessible accent at ladies with HIV and how she has invited Stephanie to attend. Officer Boyfriend is like, “Uh, great? I guess? Is that what you appetite me to say? ‘Great?'”

Stephanie, Brandi and Whatshisface’s assistant, some bird animal called Courtney, go attending at a bar area Stephanie is planning to host this party, the affair of which Stephanie has absitively will be “Gatsby.” Appearance of hands: How abounding of you anticipate that Stephanie has apprehend The Abundant Gatsby –WAIT– and that she understood it? Because could there be annihilation added acrid than a agglomeration of new monied yahoos who absorb their banknote on $75,000 design bracelets and samurai statues and Rolls Royces throwing themselves a affair whose affair is based on a atypical about the disillusionment with the American Dream and how abundance corrupts? It would be like the beneficiary to a slaughterhouse throwing himself a “The Jungle” themed party, or the buyer of a atramentous abundance allurement anybody to dress up like their admired Zola appearance for his birthday.

The point is, while blind out at the bar area she’s activity to bandy this “Gatsby” party, Stephanie warns Brandi that she’s activity to allure LeeAnne because she’s appealing abundant contractually answerable to do so.

So, LeeAnne’s speech. Basically she tells a roomful of women with HIV that she understands their affliction because she was confused as a child, afore acceptable them that they are all aces and authoritative them arise up to the date with her for some reason. Stephanie cries.

Later, Stephanie has banquet with her family, area Ol’ Whosit demands that she jump out of a block in a bikini and her sons advance she adjustment their ancestor a “poo poo” cake. These Gatsby affair affairs are really advancing along!

Stephanie calls Brandi, because she knows she’ll acknowledge a acceptable account story, and additionally to affirm that yes, in actuality she will be agreeable LeeAnne to Whatshisface’s altogether party, so could she try to accomplish nice, please.

To this end, Brandi calls LeeAnne (or as Brandi’s buzz calls her, “Loud Mouth”) and invites her to accommodated for cafeteria or coffee to hash things out already and for all. LeeAnne carefully agrees. The brace accommodated over salads area Brandi explains that Stephanie told her about LeeAnne’s speech and she’s had time to reflect on how LeeAnne is aggravating to advice bodies by administration her adventure and banausic banausic blah, Brandi knows she can advance people’s buttons and yeah, sorry. In response, LeeAnne is like, “I reacted to you.” LeeAnne afresh tells Brandi she wants to get to know her and get drinks with her and get on the ball attic and watch Brandi “break a move…” None of this is actually an acknowledgment by any reasonable measure, but it’s all Brandi is activity to get out of her, so she takes it.

Then we accept a alternation of absolutely abortive scenes:

Brandi and Stephanie boutique for what arise to be brawl dresses.

Stephanie lights one of the sparkler candles she bought for Whatshishead’s cake. Literally, she aloof stands there captivation a candle while bodies are like, “Yep, that’s a candle.”

Cary and Dr. Bedmate get dressed for the party.

NONE OF THESE ARE SCENES. WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE, GUYS?

Finally, this party. Bodies access in their bender dresses and headbands and accoutrement and wigs? There are a lot of wigs accident here? LeeAnne is cutting an inexplicably white wig? And That Marie Person is additionally cutting a wig for some reason? Were the 20s accepted for wigs? ~falls bottomward a google hole~ (And the answer, at atomic according to the website fashion-history.lovetoknow.com is “No.”)

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Cary, for her part, wears a admirable beaded dress that she wore at her wedding, which has a 20s vibe, but is not absolutely a bender dress, and anybody criticizes her for not cutting a costume, absolutely blank the actuality that Brandi appears to be cutting a brawl dress for some reason.

I’m appealing abiding this is actually Brandi’s dress that I begin on a accidental prom-related site.

During the party, Brandi, That Marie Person, Tiffany and LeeAnne army into a berth area LeeAnne attempts to allege Brandi’s accent by cogent belief that absorb pepperoni and jalapeño pizza and the charge for ice cubes in the bathroom. At one point, LeeAnne mimes actuality on the toilet. For those of you befitting count, this is the fifth poop-related adventure in eight episodes of this series.

Brandi afresh announces that back LeeAnne and Cary both accept birthdays advancing up, they should all go bottomward to Austin calm for a girls’ cruise because, again, this is a Bravo absoluteness appearance about a accumulation of women and so they must go on at atomic one cruise together, thems the contractually answerable rules fun! However, back Stephanie informs Cary of this plan she is beneath than enthused, wonders how abounding blah dogs she’ll be arrive to fellate.

Finally, back they acknowledgment home, Stephanie surprises Whatshisnameagain by jumping out of a cake, aloof like he asked. Happy birthday, Whosit. You did it, buddy.

Photo: Bravo / Michael Larsen/Bravo

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DALLAS -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Casey Deuber, Brandi Redmond, Stephanie Hollman, LeeAnn Locken, Tiffany Hendra -- (Photo by: Michael Larsen/Bravo)

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BRANDI: "I was a Cowboys' cheerleader, but in Dallas I'm never on the sidelines."

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TIFFANY: "I came home to Dallas to flash my light, not to fight."

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CAREY: "I'm not a bays wife, I'm a lifetime accomplishment award."

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Featured Dresses, Season 9 Part 3 | Say Yes to the Dress | TLC | Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

CAREY: "I'm not a bays wife, I'm a lifetime accomplishment award."

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STEPHANIE: "I'm the babe abutting door, if you alive in a big ol' mansion."

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LEEANN: "I grew up a carny kid. Pay amateur with me and you're gonna pay."

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA -- Season:8 -- Pictured: (l-r) Tammy McCall, Kenya Moore, Cynthia Bailey, Kandi Burruss, Porsha Williams, Phaedra Parks Nida, Kim Fields -- (Photo by: Mark Hill/Bravo)

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Charrisse Jackson Jordan, Robyn Dixon, Karen Huger, Gizelle Bryant, Katie Rost, Ashley Boalch Darby -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:6 -- Pictured: (l-r) Amber Marchese, Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, Teresa Guidice, Nicole Mauriello, Teresa Aprea -- (Photo by: Alex Martinez/Bravo)

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Featured Dresses, Season 9 Part 3 | Say Yes to the Dress | TLC | Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF CHESHIRE -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Magali Gorre, Ampika Pickston, Tanya Bardsley, Leanne Brown, Dawn Ward -- (Photo by: Rachel Joseph/ITV Creative/Bravo)

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MELBOURNE -- Season:2 -- Pictured: (l-r) Chyka Keebaugh, Lydia Schiavello, Janet Roach, Pettifleur Berenger, Jackie Gillies, Gamble Breaux, Gina Liano -- (Photo by: John Tsiavis/Bravo)

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI -- Season: 2 -- Pictured: (l-r) Marysol Patton, Ana Quincoces, Adriana DeMoura, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Karent Sierra, Lisa Hochstein -- (Photo by: Mark DeLong/Bravo)

'The Absolute Housewives of Dallas': The bee's knees

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The Absolute Housewives of Dallas affectedness on Bravo on Monday at 9 p.m.

Therese is additionally watching The Absolute Housewives of New York City, Game of Thrones, Fear of the Walking Dead, and The Bachelorette.

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Featured Dresses, Season 9 Part 3 | Say Yes to the Dress | TLC | Ashley Boalch Say Yes To The Dress

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