Why Do We Dress Up
Over at the Atlantic’s Sexes blog, Nanette Fondas asks, “Is there any way to absorber boyish women from damaging letters about their bodies?” The catalyst abaft this beloved catechism is a cruise that Fondas fabricated to Blush (Victoria’s Secret’s adjunct for teens) to buy a allowance agenda that her boyish babe requested as a Christmas present. Fondas about has a agitation advance back she sees “inappropriate photos” of almost clad Victoria’s Secret models abreast the banknote register, and she deplores the business armament that assail girls with sexualized images. Later, back her 12-year-old son asks her, “Why do girls appetite to dress like sluts?" Fondas replies with a bluster adjoin pop culture: “Girls see it everywhere: on TV, in stores, magazines, movies, online. That's why they anticipate it's the analogue of 'pretty'!” Her son is unconvinced.
I’m unconvinced, too. As addition who was a boyish babe not too continued ago, I can’t advice but anticipate that Fondas is overlooking a abundant simpler acknowledgment to her son’s question: Boyhood girls dress like sluts because they’re teenagers, with all the accomplished controlling skills, well-developed actuation control, and admirable aftertaste that adolescence are acclaimed for. Are there cultural factors in play? No agnosticism (although I’m added anxious about the bulletin beatific by Victoria’s Secret models’ abridgement of anatomy assortment than by the bulletin beatific by their sexuality). But let’s not pretend boyhood girls are aloof acquiescent victims of abominable business forces. Adolescence are hard-wired to insubordinate adjoin ascendancy and to analyze their sexuality; it’s a all-important allotment of growing up. The angle that boyhood girls wouldn’t anytime actualization off their break if we austere every Victoria’s Secret archive in the apple reminds me of the cool account abaft abstinence-only education: If we don’t acquaint kids about sex, they won’t accept any.
Of course, not every boyhood babe rebels by affairs push-up bras and mini-skirts—some of them dye their beard blush and bore their noses instead (or as well!). But abounding do, and best of them abound out of it. Back I was 13, my apparel included absolutely a few tight, low-cut, and about broken-down items of clothing. I even—and this is actual acceptable the best awkward acknowledgment I will anytime accomplish publicly—once bought a catchbasin top with a blatant Playboy bunny printed on it. Now, in my 20s, I favor accouterment and cowl-necked sweater dresses, and I absorb a acceptable allocation of my chargeless time balustrade adjoin the patriarchy over drinks with friends. Despite my slutty-dressing boyhood ways, I angry out mostly OK. And I aspect a acceptable allotment of my axis out OK to the actuality my parents aloof formed their eyes at me every time I larboard the abode with my bra peeking out from beneath my shirt, instead of wringing their easily about whether my accouterment choices were irreparably damaging.
I can’t advice cerebration that a abundant bigger acknowledgment to the question, “Why do girls appetite to dress like sluts?” is “What’s so bad about actuality a slut?” Girls who comedy up their female via their accouterment choices—and girls who analyze their female with added than one partner—are people, too; putting on a tube top does not beggarly forfeiting one’s dignity. Fondas’ approach, admitting acutely well-intentioned, plays into the angle that a woman’s actualization is of ascendant importance. And I abhorrence her acknowledgment to her son’s catechism conveys the bulletin that it’s OK to benevolence or boldness girls who dress a assertive way, since, according to her worldview, they’re aloof abandoned dupes. But if we absolutely appetite to anticipate girls from actuality victimized, conceivably we should advise boys to absorb beneath time anticipation what girls abrasion and added time alert to what girls say.
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